David and I are about to embark on a long overdue break; my plan for this trip is to Rest Reflect Reset. I learned this practice from my dear friend and colleague, Dr Adam Fraser, who created this as part of his theory and practice of Third Space. Third Space transformed the way I lived and worked; but sometimes as often happens, we get so busy that we stop the daily routines and practices that are so good for our overall well-being.
My plan as we wind our way down the Danube River is to rest and reflect in order to reset when I return to Australia in August. What do each of these three stages mean to me?
As a nation,we are united as one for the celebration and remembrance of Anzac Day and those who have died for the freedom of this great country in which we live. Australian ideals had been both tested and proved at Gallipoli. Wayne Swan once said this about Gallipoli: “What emerged was a moral value that rapidly established itself as our supreme national virtue: a combination of bravery, resilience, the ability to improvise, and the duty to stick together in hard times and protect your friends”. At an Anzac Day service, our previous Governor-General, Quentin Bryce, said that we were a nation that was able to test its courage “in our willingness to persevere through misfortune and adversity, to remain hopeful in our dry gullies, in our capacity to reach out …”
I love research that draws our attention to the positive aspects of leadership, people and life, and challenges you to see things differently, rather than to see what’s wrong and why new ways won’t work!
In a study done by Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones, professors at London Business School and IE Business School (Madrid) respectively, several years ago, they identified 6 virtues of a dream workplace, as follows:
- People can truly be themselves
This means that people can bring their “whole selves” to work, they are encouraged to express their opinions even if different to their boss or their peers, passion is encouraged even if it makes others uncomfortable, and people who are different are the norm, rather than the exception. Being yourself is core to authenticity, one of the key characteristics younger workers look for in their leaders.
- People are told what is REALLY going on
People are encouraged to tell the truth, even if it means bad news. They do not sanitize the true situation for senior management and pretend that all is well when it isn’t. It is not seen as being disloyal to say something negative, provided you are able to support your comments with data and evidence, and a proposed solution to the problem. One of the characteristics of effective, inspiring leaders is that they are open, honest and transparent in their communication throughout the organisation, and are great listeners who ask good questions.
“It is better to remain quiet and be thought of a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt” Anonymous
Most of us don’t actually listen, we simply hear. This means that we comprehend less than 50% of every verbal conversation we have, so much of the message is either forgotten or lost. Many of us practice the art of “half an ear” or “stunned mullet” listening. We are so busy these days that I believe our capacity and willingness to truly listen has diminished significantly in the last two decades. I truly believe that the greatest gift you can give anyone – your team members, peers, clients, partners, children and friends is to actively listen with intent, and to be truly 100% present.
Some things to remember with closing a year and starting a new one.....
- Stop being a “human doing” and become a human being
- Stop using your technology 24/7 – shut it down, turn it off and BE PRESENT
- One for women – Stop saying “I’m sorry” if you didn’t hurt someone’s feelings!
- Stop using BUT – it disconnects people and conversations, start using AND
- Stop talking on your mobile phone when walking on sidewalks and crossing roads
- Stop talking and start listening – to your peers, employees, partners, children and friends! Listen with your ears and your eyes and your heart
Many people I know here in Australia and around the world are having a challenging year – ill health, financial difficulties, job insecurity, loss of loved ones and increasing dissatisfaction and disengagement with political leadership around the world. At times it feels as though the world is becoming less tolerant, less generous, less kind, more judgmental, more impatient and more willing to exclude anyone who doesn’t “fit in”, whatever that means. My family and I have not been immune to these challenges, and many times I have felt my patience and resilience tested.
In its 28th year, the Global Summit of Women was held in Sydney, Australia, with over 1,000 women attending from more than 65 countries. It was three days of sharing, networking, wisdom and fun. I have had the privilege of attending three summits and being a speaker at each of them – Beijing (2010), Paris (2013) and Sydney (2018). At every summit, I have met amazing women from around the world, made new friends and learnt so much from each of them. Every woman attending the conference, every facilitator, moderator and speaker were incredible, smart, generous and often humorous, way too many to mention specifically by name. This month’s newsletter seeks to share a few of the lessons and wisdom from this year’s Summit.
Building on my January mantra of:“Find the joy in every day and situation, no matter the circumstances,” my mantra for February has been “What’s the Lesson?” I had decided that following some demanding situations at the end of 2017 that I would find the joy in every situation, and was delighted to find that there is always joy in every situation and every day. This got me thinking that if we were asking ourselves to find the joy, and the circumstances were challenging, then we should also ask ourselves “What’s the lesson?”
As part of reflecting on the year that was 2017, I decided that in 2018, I would create and adopt a mantra for each month, then reflect on its effectiveness at the end of each month. I thought I would share with you how that has worked in the first month of 2018.
Find the joy in every day and situation, no matter the circumstances.
Time for reflection is very important for our mental, physical and emotional well-being, and our ability to engage in self-care. I think it is indicative of our “busyness” that the number one workers compensation claims today are stress related, rather than physical injuries. Stress is also the most significant contributor to ill health. And yet we work harder and harder, much of which is driven by fear of loss of security through loss of employment. Yes, things are challenging economically in Australia and around the world, however, I believe there is too much fear-mongering and negativity, which simply compounds many irrational fears.